This post is personal. Its about building your own confidence in order to conquer the storms that may come your way. I realize that I can't really speak for everyone on this because I don't know where your level of confidence is. I also don't know your personal experiences, and without a personal conversation with you I do not know your strengths and goals. However, You know You. So we can start there, together, with our search within.
Let me share with you my own new found self-confidence. In 2012, life as I knew it had changed. I transitioned from being a wife to being a divorced single mom. It has been quite a bittersweet transition- emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Just recently, I developed the need to change my life and refocus on my overall health. So in 2016, I decided to embark on a "Natural Hair" journey. This is something personal for me for several reasons but it has really helped to boost my confidence in my new life! Because I can be impatient, I went from feeling self-conscious and unsure to my current mentality of embracing who I am, right now, today, in this very moment. During this transition, I decided to hold my head up, throw on some earrings, put on my lipstick, and smile often (see below).
One way someone can "work a room" is to display a healthy level of self-confidence. Have you ever had to do something that made you nervous or uncomfortable? Or have you ever doubted that you could achieve something new (i.e lose weight, new career, etc)? Its normal to have these initial thoughts but you have to build yourself up to have a better experience; to be a better you. Having healthy self-confidence means you feel good about who you are and your abilities to be the best you. Have the confidence to get started and to keep moving forward. For instance, even if your life is in a complete Tsunami storm, you are still able to see your strengths, be positive about yourself, and accomplish a positive attitude moving forward. How? Because you have developed Positive Self-confidence which is a mindset.
You don't have to wear your storm on your sleeve. Here are 5 ways to develop Positive Self-confidence no matter what is going on in your life.:
#1. Gratitude. We need to develop a spirit of being thankful. Did you Thank God for opening your eyes this morning? Were you able to buy that special hot or chilled beverage from your favorite coffee shop today? Or were you able to buy what you need when you needed it most? What about the fact that you have a place to lay your head each evening, have you thanked God for that? On another level, did you complete something that you had no idea you could accomplish? Did someone put in a good word for you so that you can be promoted or offered special recognition? If you can answer positively to any of these questions, then wow, you're blessed and despite any negative happenings, something is going your way!
#2. Affirmations. Sometimes we have to recognize that we can be our own worst enemy. That voice in the back of your head saying "Are you crazy?" or "You can't do that" is always lurking. Negative thinking is inevitable when things don't go your way, but this is what makes affirmations so important. We need to feed our mind, feed our soul, and surround ourselves with positive words or statements. These positive words speak volumes by themselves: Faith; Hope; or Love . We can be inspired when we see them in various places. Affirmations are best when put on display, either on your mirror, refrigerator, hanging on your wall, or in a frame at your desk. They are conveniently located where you can take a quick glance when you need a "pick me up". Fortunately, nowadays, you can find beautiful affirmations on artwork, pillows, clothes. Find your inspiration and embrace the encouragement!
#3. Compliments. We all love to receive compliments, this is naturally encouraging and an ego booster for sure. However, you can't control whether you get them or not. There is no better way to show your own self-confidence but by recognizing the positive attributes or skills of another person. Let other people know what you like about their appearance, their personality, or of something they have done. Allow yourself to admire and recognize the positives in other people. It will not only make them feel good but make you feel good as well. Share them and receive them- Confidence Booster.
#4. Love Yourself. Its hard to pull off positive self-confidence if you are constantly hurting yourself. Do you have bad habits that you need to break? Such as talking negatively about yourself to others, abusing substances or food, allowing yourself to be abused, or not caring about your physical appearance. We all have something we can do better but dawging yourself won't change your situation. Start with taking care of yourself. Believe in yourself. Respect yourself. Speak positively about yourself. Even if you don't "feel" like loving yourself, the action of showing yourself love by exercising, eating better, surrounding yourself with positive people, and putting some effort in your grooming can help you boost your self-confidence. We have to change our thinking, develop healthy habits, and make some positive moves in the direction we want to ultimately go in order to achieve what we want to achieve.
#5. Practice Mindfulness. This is a buzz word of our time right now, but I love it! Its basically allowing yourself to be in the present moment where you can just breathe, listen, observe, and feel where you are right now. (This would be a good time to diffuse some essential oils or burn that scrumptious candle). Start by doing a little research. You can find helpful videos and information about mindfulness online. Next, set aside at least 5 minutes alone for yourself, put on some relaxing sounds, get in a comfortable position, close your eyes and breathe! Here is an example (its longer than 5 minutes so you might wanna set a timer, its so relaxing!)
If you have additional tips on how to boost your own self-confidence to conquer life's storms, please share we'd love to hear from you!
*Disclaimer: Although I am a mental health professional, the information in this article is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Please consult a professional for treatment of any clinical mental illness. Do not take advice on Positive Steps10, LLC website as professional advice for you and your situation without formal consultation as such with a PS10, LLC professional with a contract for services.
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*My new do with Earrings, Lipstick, and a Smile!