I was quoting Ashford and Simpson then changed to Prudential Insurance company... When mentioning the word "solid" in regards to a family, I am referring to the Couple, Mom and Dad, Him and Her. A solid foundation is detrimental in a family. Here are some ways you can make sure you have a solid relationship with each other to ensure the respect and stability you need in your family. Blended not broken. Shaken but still standing.
There is no escaping adversity in a family. You have a mixture of personalities, perspectives, levels of closeness, hurt, experiences, emotions, and the list goes on. However, with Faith and Endurance as a couple, you can lead by example. Your family members are watching how you handle different situations and most importantly how you treat one another.
The best things you can do as a couple are to:
RESPECT ONE ANOTHER.
SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER.
LOVE EACH OTHER.
FORGIVE EACH OTHER.
SPEND TIME TOGETHER.
There are very few relationships that can be categorized as perfect where you never hurt the other person's feelings. Because of this, it is so very crucial to FORGIVE EACH OTHER when someone has been hurt. There is a fine line here, you don't want to act as though nothing has happened but you do want to acknowledge that your hurt and you will not hold this against your spouse. Now, many may be thinking "I can't forgive some things". That's fine. Everyone has a line that once you cross it, there is no turning back. For some people, cheating is the ultimate line and for others, any act of dishonesty constitutes betrayal. Its not to say its a "done deal" or a "deal breaker", but it may take you longer to heal from that wound than an average act. Above all means, try forgiveness before you give up.
One thing that seals a bond with someone is when you SPEND TIME TOGETHER. Quality time to be exact. Just being in the same room or being around each other is not enough to achieve quality time. You need to talk with each other, laugh together, make plans together, and just focus on one another. Get to know your spouse, this will assure that you are not growing apart as individuals and you are staying connected as partners.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T Each other. This is so important. Hear me from the right place, men truly want to know that their wife respects them and women want to be completely loved. There is a book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs which goes into the science of women needing the love she desires from her husband and a man needing the respect from his wife. When people do things you don't like or they start to get on your nerves he refers to it as the crazy cycle. We can lose site of how to treat each other- with love and respect. Make sure you find out how your spouse accepts love (such as in "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman) and what makes him feel respected (i.e. consulting your spouse prior to making an important decision).
SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER whenever you can. Being a couple is a partnership, not a competition of who does more and who deserves more credit for working, making more money, maintaining the household, taking care of the kids, etc... Try to compliment one another. Give affirmation when you notice your spouse doing something right. Make a choice to point out the positives in your spouse in stead of shining light on all the negative things they do.
Everybody receives love in different ways. But one thing is for sure, you must LOVE ONE ANOTHER! And yes, this time when we say "love" we mean it as a verb (action). You must show love. Touch your spouse in a loving way. Show and give affection. Don't deny your spouse that intimacy, it can be felt as rejection and put a wedge between you. If you are struggling with expressing your love, then it's time to PRAY. Most likely, you are both having difficulty in this area. You may not be able to pray together right away and you need to start praying for God to restore your marriage and your intimacy. Once you make gains towards regaining the love between you, start PRAYING TOGETHER. Start at meals, then move into the bedroom before you go to sleep, when you wake up, or before you head out the door for work. Find time and make time to PRAY Together.
We hope that you have found this post helpful. Remember, relationships take time and effort. Put in the work to make it work. If you have any additional suggestions or questions about what was suggested, please contact us. If needed, seek help with a professional therapist for further assistance.
Your Journey. Your Positive Steps.